The Modern Jackass

5 People I Can Do Without…Round 2

mdrnjackass — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:18:00 +0000

1. People who place their bare feet on public furniture- If you even had flip flops on that would be acceptable, but bare feet? Gross.

2. People who don’t clean up after their dogs – You give the rest of us who do clean up a bad name.

3. Anyone else on the New Jersey Turnpike – The worst driver in the world is anyone who isn’t me who is on the New Jersey Turnpike while I am there…even my family.

4. People Wearing Face Headbands – What is this 1969? Enough.

5. Snotty Salespeople – Sales is a service oriented business…serve me, don’t be a jerk.

A Few Notes on My Trip To California

mdrnjackass — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:46:00 +0000

Proof that My Stomach Has No Limits:

While in California we ate breakfast at toast. I had a small breakfast, an omelet. Robbie and I both avoided the toast and potatoes because we knew what our day had in store…

First Stop:

Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles

I had special #1:

The trick is covering the chicken with hot sauce, then putting the chicken on your buttered waffle. After that, you cover the entire plate with syrup and enjoy…delicious. This place had great waffles and great chicken, we were very impressed.

Stop #2:
Cactus Taqueria

I had a tongue burrito. Tongue is rather fatty. When roasted for an extended period the fat melts into the meat perfectly. Mix in sour cream, rice, beans, onions, pico de gallo and you are in business. Frankly, I am just getting warmed up.

I have eaten 1/3 of the burrito at this point.

Third and Final Stop:

Fatburger

I was very impressed. This was a loose-packed cheeseburger which made for lots of crispy goodness. They offer a plethora of toppings. I had a cheeseburger with mayo and pepper.
The burger was good but I was most impressed by the ketchup cups:
The short sides allow for maximum ketchup consumption. Also, they have Mr. Pibb instead of Dr. Pepper.

After this consumption expedition, we went to the wedding. I ate there too.

Makeshift microphones for Living on a Prayer. Mine is made with a potato.

The Closer To Boston

mdrnjackass — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 21:02:00 +0000

As you get closer to Boston your Boston cream donut will have more chocolate on it.

New York City

Mystic, CT

Boston, MA

5 Excellent Employment Ideas For Me…

mdrnjackass — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:28:00 +0000

Neil Diamond Style Cover Singer – I can sing any song as Neil Diamond…Ooops, I did it again.

Stick Figure Artist – I can draw a stick figure as well as anyone

Famous Person Voice Identifier – I can identify almost any famous actor’s voiceover in a commercial…the other day there was a Bank of America Commercial (Kiefer Sutherland) immediately following An Orange Juice (Donald Sutherland), that’s like hitting for the cycle.

Competitive Eater – More on my California eatstravaganza tomorrow but understand that I have never finished a meal without the ability to have dessert afterward.

Wood Chopper – I enjoy splitting wood, I could do that all day.

Holy Inferiority Complex Batman

mdrnjackass — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 02:25:00 +0000

I understand having a “Go Saux” license plate or something. However I assure you, the Yankees do not suck.